It's interesting to me to see how when I get "busy" I "forget" to do my due diligence. Instead of taking the extra five minutes when I lay down to go to sleep and really feel the comfort of my bed and express my appreciation for a great day, I just kind of dive-bomb between the sheets and crash.
For the last few months I've been waking up with panic attacks in the middle of the night. I haven't been able to link them to any specific event or circumstance, although I have been enjoying a lot of contrast related to being overwhelmed and very busy.
I have noticed that since I have started my experiment, the panic attacks have stopped. And my lower back pain, which has been intense since my baby was born in May just totally disappeared.
Two nights ago I had a really powerful dream. In my dream I was offered a contract (don't know what kind of contract...) and given a payment of 2.5 million dollars.
What was so powerful about this dream is that one minute I was financially struggling and the next minute I was quite financially abundant. I woke up feeling like this was a very clear reminder from my Inner Wisdom that we can have/experience ANYTHING and our current challenges can be transformed in a moment.
We're never really stuck.
Unless we believe we are.
These last few days I've really been thinking about what I want. I'm truly surprised to find that I have some areas in my life where I am feeling some growing pains and I'm not clear about what I want.
This is probably not entirely new for me but I think I have manifested sum funky chaos lately to remind me to check in and see what is feeling good for my life right now.
When I realized that I'm not being totally authentic with my intentions and still doing a lot of "shoulds" rather than following my True Hearts Desires, I was curious to discover that I'm a little nervous about "discovering" the answers to my questions.
In the past, when I have had an unconscious intention, I am quite well known for blowing my entire life up in a relatively short amount of time.
I'm not really in the mood for more rampant chaos and deconstruction so I have carefully sculpted a new intention statement about my work:
"I am joyfully in the process of discovering my newly evolved career passion and direction. I honor the fact that I am growing and changing. While I am enjoying this process of discovery, I intend to attract a sustainable income that affords me all the money necessary to pay my bills with plenty of money left over to play with. I attract my income doing things that bring me great pleasure and fulfillment and I work in a way that easily allows me to balance work, family and other additional delights. I easily have the money to purchase things for my children, take care of my business and personal expenses, travel and attend workshops and trainings that aid me in my discovery adventure."
I am writing myself a message on the back of my hand to remind myself to keep working on my experiment.
It is an incredible process to reprogram the mind.
But, being conscious and deliberately in the flow is sooooo much more fun than just moving through the day without intent.
Wooo Hoooo! Aren't we lucky to be given Free Will and consciousness.
Love,
Karen
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