Day 18, ""Other People's Stuff"

Okay, so I’ve been a bit remiss in blogging about my 30-day experiment.  Speakers Boot Camp was this past weekend and I was totally busy enjoying each and every day!  Wooo Hooo!

It is now Day 18 and I have two big thoughts I’d like to share with you. 

Today I want to talk about “Other People’s Stuff”.

I have noticed that when I keep my mindset clear and give it words, I can receive, in exchange, some very interesting feedback from the people around me. 

I have been accused of being a “Polly Anna” more than once and not always in a nice way.

Really.  It’s kind of funny how violently people react to you being happy. 

I have also noticed, especially this year with the “bad” economy myth going gangbusters, that many people in my life have manifested some pretty dire life situations.  I have several dear friends who are really struggling financially. 

When “other people” (and I use quotations because they are not really “other” people but instead beautiful reflections of our own consciousness) share their reality with us, it is pretty easy to want to chime in and either defend ourselves, convince and change or save the “other” person. 

I always muse at how hard it is for me to change myself.  What in the heck makes me think that I can change someone else?  (Especially someone else who didn’t even ask for my “expert” guidance and insight.)

Have you ever noticed how other people seem to trigger your core issues?  Do they trigger your issues because they are mean or are those issues triggered because you’re sending out a vibration that is in alignment with your core issue?

Here is an example.  I have someone very close to me who “makes” me feel judged.  He is extremely bright, well-educated, accomplished in his field and has an aura of authority.  When I stand next to him, I feel like a bug.

Now, in the past, I would have said that this person judges me.  I don’t have some fancy college degree.  I am not so accomplished, prefer jeans, cowgirl boots and a t-shirt, the company of my kids and my dog.  Fancy cocktail parties make me gag and I hate small talk. 

But if you ask me what has this person DONE to make me feel judged…well…NOTHING.  Not a single thing. 

Who is really doing the judging here?

Yeah, yeah, yeah…I can see all your fingers pointing at me!

Underneath this bright and shiny wise-ass exterior is a shy girl who still questions her own value. 

I perceive myself as being judged because of my own lack of self-esteem. 

It is absolutely important to surround yourself with people who support your creative process.  But, what I am discovering is that when you see yourself as a powerful, abundant being, you don’t even HEAR the judgment or the negativity or the nay-saying or anything that is out of alignment with your vibration. 

AND, if you are deeply rooted in the magnificence of who you are, you don’t draw those kinds of dream-sucking negative experiences into your reality anyway.  It’s not in energetic harmony with your vibration. 

Basically, it’s all you. 

Here’s the next question.  How do you handle “other people’s stuff” when they are struggling and suffering and you want to help.

Think about this for a minute.  

When we are struggling, how much time do we spend talking about the problem with our friends and family?  Not venting or releasing, just plain talking (or bitching...)

We sigh.  We shrug shoulders and wring hands together.  We dutifully validate for our loved ones that their lives do, indeed, suck.  Yes?

But, if where you put your energy and attention is where you get growth and you want this other person to realign with their abundant state but you are both focusing (or in my case, my whole family is calling each other and bemoaning the circumstance…) on the problem, what are you co-creating?

I know.  Your family and friends will truly think you’ve gone nuts when, in the midst of the drama, you focus your energy on the things that ARE working.  But, in the end, who is going to have more fun?  And who is creating more in the direction of abundance?

If you really love someone, you’ll see the possibility for an elegant solution instead of tragedy and gloom. 

They might hate you for being happy and positive.  In the beginning it’s always more fun to focus on the problem.  But, trust me, it is always WAAAAAY more fun to imagine the possibilities and see each bump as an opportunity to clarify what you truly, dearly want in your reality (or in their reality).

Here's quotation from Esther and Jerry Hicks that says it best:

"No solution ever comes forth - it's never inspired; you never recognize it, and you are never able to facilitate or achieve it - from your place of focusing on the problem. If you have someone who has many things going wrong and one thing going right, beat the drum of what's going right, and let that be your point of attraction.  If you focus upon their problems, you achieve vibrational harmony with someone other than the Source that gives you solutions." 

The sun is always shining above the clouds!

Love,

Karen