Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother’s Day!

Motherhood has been the most incredible journey I have taken in this lifetime. My children have been my greatest teachers, my biggest joys and ultimately, as they stand on the edge of the “nest”, my best friends.

I wonder how I got so lucky?

(It’s okay. I actually figured out the logistics of it…no need to send me emails ;-)

As a new mother for the fifth time at the ripe young age of 44, I am enjoying have a baby more than I ever did when my other kids were small.

It’s not that I didn’t enjoy the others. I did very much. But my mothering abilities have been forged in the fires of experience and I’m wiser (hopefully), more relaxed and better at seeing the big picture.

Last year my oldest son went off to college. My oldest daughter is on the cusp of leaving home, too. I have begun another phase in my parenting and the emotions surrounding this part of parenting is quite surprising.

Truthfully, I grieved when Keegan, my oldest, left home. I missed his ever-constant gentle demeanor and his sunny smile. Those Who Were Left Behind were weird without him. For several months it was as if my family has an un-fill-able hole in it. We had to redefine who we were without him.

And he was lonely without us (and his friends from High School), too.

This semester has been a different experience for him, though. He is taking exciting classes, working behind the camera at a TV studio, writing, creating and very much beginning to live his dream life.

Keegan was always an unusual kid. This was a child who informed me at the sweet age of two years that when he grew up, he was going to be a filmmaker.

Now he is solidly on his path and when I hear the thrill of excitement in his voice, it awakens in me something new as a mother. I see him truly begin to take flight with his life and there is this deep tickle and rush of huge love in my solar plexus that delights at witnessing the final stages of his rapidly departing childhood.

Complete joy and awe at who he is becoming has replaced grief and I can hardly say his name without gushing…almost like it was when he was newborn.

Soon my daughter and then a son, another daughter and eventually my baby will hopefully begin to take their fledgling flights. I hope that I am lucky enough to witness these launches!

I have been a very lucky woman all of my life. I was mothered by a mother who believed fiercely in Family. We grew up in unusual places and my mother had to create an oasis of safety and “home” in the midst of foreign cities and environments, oftentimes on her own while my Dad traveled for work.

She did her job very well. Truly, in my world, home was where the Mom was. The location may have changed periodically but the Mom was consistent.

I am certain that even my more challenging children are “easy” compared to me as a child.

There have been tales told that I was often frustrated, full of questions and never quite “normal” as a kid.

All of the above is probably true.

In spite of this, my Mother believed in me. There were many times when my Mother and I clashed and I suspect she secretly longed for a “normal” child (actually, sometimes she wished that out loud…), but no matter what transpired, my Mother always knew there was greatness inside of me.

She still thinks this is true.

With my new understandings of “The Big Picture”, I now know that the frustrations my Mother experienced were a direct result of her knowing what was possible for me and her witnessing my circuitous route to my greatness.

I am sure she had many sleepless nights wondering just what the heck was going on in my life…

Probably, I’ve even given her a few of those wakeful nights as recent as…well…last week!

The “normal” life has never had much appeal for me…

I am who I am today because my Mother saw greatness in me. Her belief in me fostered that same belief in myself. That deeper awareness of my unlimited Divine Potential that she instilled in me with her Mother-Love is the strength that I have drawn on when I have stumbled and fallen in my life.

Her love has given me the courage to move forward, even when the prospects were grim or seemed hopeless.

From my Mother I learned Dedication and Commitment, and the importance of rhythm and consistency.

And staying dry when it’s raining and always making sure you pack a little extra food, just in case…

Thank you, Mama, for the 44 years of greatness you have seen in me.

I promise, I’ll keep working on it!

Love,
Karen